SALTY

Salty? Not Slaying? Chances are you are not you in your life choices!

What are we teaching today? The integration of you within you.

Integration is the act of combining or uniting different things into a cohesive whole. Socially, it means no one is left out; we integrate all of society into the whole of society.

If you're a fully integrated human, it means you understand all parts of yourself and incorporate that self into your life.

If you are not fully integrated, it may mean you are on the struggle bus in some areas of your life and likely, salty with how your life is going.

Non integration complaints look like:

• "I hate my job."

• "I'm not in love my partner."

• "I don't like where I live."

We must learn what non integration looks like in a human so we can spot it!

You might remember the film Good Will Hunting, about a genius janitor cleaning floors at MIT. How's this lack of integration? The super smart guy doesn't see himself, has childhood trauma and has a lower socioeconomic status. One could argue that this human, given his surroundings, can't see the possibility around him.

Given his culture, childhood and network, he would take the next laborer role (needs to eat) he could find without identifying his way of being (a math genius).

I need a job, and I have one; however, I can also solve the math equation on the board at MIT, and I liked that; hey, that's me! Mopping the floors is a job, but this math is me!

Eating is an immediate need, so I solve that by being a janitor and leaving the mismatch between my job and who I am on the table.

This is the recipe for salt. Is the character SALTY in the movie? Yah.

Now, we could burn some serious time here. The genius janitor is happy as a janitor, and we should bug out. But how does the janitor show up? Is he having the time of his life? It's not for us to decide.

But you do have to decide for yourself — if you want to move from being salty to slaying. "Slaying/Slay" in Gen Z slang means you are doing something exceptionally well.

Charlie Brown is another impressive example of human non integration in a cartoon.

According to Google AI, in the Peanuts comic strip, Lucy always pulls away the football Charlie is trying to kick.

Lucy is always, not sometimes, consistently pulling the ball away from Charlie. Lucy is naughty and Charlie is optimistic. The lack of integration comes from Charlie as he keeps hoping she won't take the football away. She isn't changing her ways ... ever.

Charlie is an optimist and keeps hoping she won't be mean. Is this working? Lack of integration. If Charlie wants to be treated with the hope and optimism HE already possesses, he will have to find someone new. It won't be Lucy.

Hear me out for a second. Maybe Lucy is walking with the Lord; she's amazing and training Charlie not to be soft. Charlie is an angel lightworker trying to save Lucy from being mean and from fracking and Bitcoin.

Hmm ...

You must decide, not your beloved posse, about if you want to slay. You must know your way of being and incorporate that into your life's journey.

Let's talk about integration and sex.

Google sexual issues of all natures. Sex is a part of health, and we can be very messy with how we view sex, how we imbibe sex and what types of sex/sex partners work for our unique selves.

Sex is rich in lack of integration for the human. Check out the lyrics to this old tune.

Who were you thinking of? By: Texas Tornados

Who were you thinkin' of

When we were makin' love

Last night?

Was it a good-lookin' stranger?

Or a close friend of mine?

Boom, caught in a lack of integration right here! The human is having sexual relations with another human who's noticing they are not present with them in the same moment.

Been there before?

Integration is just a “fancy schmancy” term for coming to terms with who you are, your unique way of being and creating your life to match that. Integration can look like disintegration at the beginning when a human starts to get very serious about who they are and what they want.

When a human integrates that they are unhappy and their current environment won't work anymore, there will be a disintegration of the old systems that held the false you.

It could be an integration like I stopped drinking alcohol. The disintegration could be you lose your BFF who loves her wine. Maybe you and your life partner are not on the same page and the disintegration is realizing you need to leave the relationship.

Disclaimer: This is huge work here. I'm not implying that this is easy at all. First scenario, one may lose their BFF or at the very least one will have to renegotiate the relationship. Second scenario, you are renegotiating your whole life when you leave. Both are very big deals.

Spoiler Alert: When you integrate, some of your relationships will go away as those relationships were predicated on the unintegrated you. Your previous network that was comfy with your old way of being may not appreciate the new you.

Integration is tough on all parties. This is hard stuff for everyone, not just the humans doing their integration work, but all parties get dragged into integration and the changes that occur.

As they should. We are all connected.

What's an example of human integration? It's a doozy, y'all.

Dying for Sex is a new film on Hulu based on a Podcast by two besties. It explores sex, childhood trauma, brain issues, family estrangement, marriage, joy, cancer, healthcare and hospice all while one of the characters navigates terminal cancer. (Hospice and palliative care are shown for the darlings they can be in anyone's journey. When I started to integrate as a human, I showed up as a hospice volunteer. It has changed my life in more ways than I can blog.)

This story of self-love and intense friendship needs lots of eyeballs on it!

It's challenging to watch the story take on societal norms about choices, limited time and what's the right behavior — but goodness, was it good!

How is this story about the integration of a human? Or the integration of a soul?

The main character is a married woman whose cancer has returned and how she makes choices for herself given her terminal diagnosis. You may not approve, her husband surely doesn't and her estranged mother struggles with what her terminally ill adult daughter chooses as well.

However, the character is fully integrated with her choices, as wild or non-conforming as they may be.

This sister is integrated. Witnessing her choices may be woozy, but that's where integration gets messy.

As a coach, helping people sort out who they are versus who they think they are versus the world's expectations is my focus. It also tends to lessen suffering in the human in one fell swoop.

Can I say this better? Why would lack of integration cause saltiness and worse, unnecessary suffering?

Let's say you are an elbow, and you are one bendy resource! We need an elbow to go around corners and connect to the important stuff.

We love you, Elbow.

If one is an elbow but must always be the foot in their environment to get paid, seen, heard, loved, recognized, claimed or survive, they may have a very unhappy life. They are an elbow — not a foot!

You see this right? Now an elbow, who isn't allowed to be an elbow, who is forced to be a foot isn't going to be a healthy member of society. Not being who they truly are ramps up their exposure and risk to disease, isolation, addiction, depression and anxiety.

And no love either.

Which makes one ...